Flawless-Pointless

   

We are all waiting for something isn’t going to happen about life,about love.. The weather turns into bad lately and i start to think about it much. Lots of things that isn’t going to happen. 


“Flawless” playing on the background by The Neighbourhood.Softly. I’m wearing my new pair of shoes, a jean and a white crop top. Effortless, so effortless to think. Just sitting and looking at the walls around me. Thinking about love that i don’t have. Thinking about how would it be… Sometimes feeling space in my heart. Wanted to smoke but i don’t smoke. Heart hurts. Feeling the tears but i don’t cry. I just don’t. All i want to do is runaway and never look back but i just can’t. I’m afraid. I’m freaking out. I don’t have anything. Nothing. Deep thoughts in my brain. Overthinking eating myself. Never have a result. Never have a solution. Yes but not. 


People wants to know what’s going on but i don’t even tell myself the truth and admit that. And i don’t think that they care about it. Just curious.


It turns into something now, i can’t even know. I don’t understand. I don’t feel. I don’t feel anything after all but i want. I want to feel something. Something good. Something that make me relaxed. 

If you give a hope someone, she will work for it. But if you don’t let her to achieve it, it’ll break her. To the million pieces. It’s like mockery for you but not for her. 


Now she knows that she’s waiting for somwthing isn’t giong to happen but she doesn’t admit. Even when writing this, you stick knifes in her heart. About million times…

Sometimes she is searching for love, to hold someone in these days. But it’s a lonely road. She knows it. Doesn’t have anyone. She realized it many times ago. Only thing that she admit, she is all alone. 


All the love songs are so pointless for her. All the romance and evem the movies. Doesn’t believe in love. Waiting for someone to hold her but doesn’t even believe it. Just her mind is so confused and has contradiction about everything.. Hold her and ask “Will you come with me to the far far away?”,she will say “yes, let’s runaway”.